I'm not blogging as much these days as I march towards full health, and the transplant moves further away in my rear view mirror. However, my hospital appointments are now proving to be a good time to reflect on my progress and how I live my life differently as a result of five years of fighting lymphoma.
I had another visit to the hospital today. While I was waiting for my turn, I thought about what I've been through since November 2011 and how I lived my life before diagnosis compared to how I am living it now. As there wasn't a lot from a treatment point of view to discuss with the doctor, I continued my musings with him - he was very interested in how I am coping mentally as it is a very important part of the recovery process.
Before lymphoma, I allowed myself to get far too absorbed into work. It frequently took over my life, leaving little spare time for the other important things in my life. I now also realise that I probably drank too much, even though I didn't consider this to be a problem, but my socialising and relaxation was primarily based around alcohol. My free time outside work was often spent worrying about work and didn't allow me to completely enjoy the moments, weekends and holidays that I had with my friends and family.
I now realise that I can work very hard and still be successful, but leave it aside when I am done for the day. My productivity has not reduced as a result of this mindset change - in fact, I think it has improved as I approach my days with great clarity after having a good night's rest and not working late the previous evenings. It's not all that black and white, as some days office things dwell on my mind, but I am managing to stick to this mindset as a rule.
My free time is very important to me and I try to make sure I live in the moment - enjoying the experience of being with my family, or friends, or exercising, or whatever I'm doing at the time.
As a result, I feel a lot happier with my life at the moment and I also enjoy everything a lot more. It has taken lymphoma to teach me that and if the disease is all behind me now, then maybe it was worthwhile.
